How would you feel if you arrived home excited to greet your family and they couldn’t tear themselves away from their phone screens to even acknowledge your arrival? (Some of you might already be experiencing this). Being ignored is a terrible sensation in any situation. For the emotionally sensitive, it can be devastating. Attention communicates interest, affection, and love. Distraction creates dissatisfaction. Parents who spend too much time on the phone instead of interacting with their children send a negative message: the invisible person on the other line is more important than you.
True, we need to stay connected in the digital world, especially in a day and age where everyone from your spouse to your boss expects you to respond right away. You can, however, strategize your phone settings and your social schedule to ensure your reliability doesn’t compromise your relationships.
Phone Preferences Make or Break Relationships
«Phubbing» refers to snubbing others through preferring your phone to personal interaction. Not surprisingly, this method of ignoring people in a social setting decreases social desirability and likability. It also, however, potentially impacts the smartphone behaviors of our family members. Research explains.
Alexandra Cobzeanu and Gabriela-Elena Adafini (2026) explored the ways in which parental phone use impacts their children.[i] They begin by acknowledging the evolution of the smartphone, noting that devices that were initially used for calls and texts have evolved into multifunctional devices that are viewed as essential, especially among contemporary youth. Smartphones are particularly attractive within the technological era because of Internet access. However, perhaps not surprisingly, problematic smartphone use can lead to addiction. Smartphone addiction, in turn, can create distress and functional impairment, particularly for young users, and also create symptoms of withdrawal, trouble performing daily activities, and problems with impulse control.
Cobzeanu and Adafini define phubbing as “using or being distracted by a mobile phone while in the presence of others,” noting it has become a widespread, concerning aspect of family life. They describe parental phubbing as parents ignoring or paying a lesser amount of attention to children while on their smartphones, which can adversely impact the parent–child relationship by making a child feel as if he or she is unimportant or neglected. They also note that parental phubbing can lead to feelings of peer alienation and rejection as well as decreased emotional well-being. The frustration young people feel as a result of parental phubbing may also lead to anxiety and depression.
Examining 159 Romanian participants ranging in age from 13 to 18, Cobzeanu and Adafini found that the adolescents in their study reported similar levels of parental phubbing from both their mothers and fathers. Parental phubbing prompted the children’s feelings of not mattering, which positively predicted adolescent smartphone addiction and its related symptomology.
Parental focus, considering these findings, should be on re-establishing connection with their children, in addition to preventing parental phubbing and its consequences in the first place.
Put Down the Phone, Enjoy the Family
Fortunately, even within our fast-paced constantly connected contemporary society, there are ways to alter your communication preferences. In a nutshell, proactive planning prevents phubbing. Particularly for young people growing up, parental love and attention can have a significant positive impact on everything from feelings of comfort and security to self-esteem. Parents who treat their children with attention, interest, and respect encourage and inspire healthy relationships of love, trust, and emotional contentment. Busy parents can strategize phone use both professionally and by scheduling phone calls and text exchanges around family schedules to prioritize presence with their children, and ideally with each other. This proactive plan to maximize family time can improve family relationships quickly, demonstrating the power of positive attention.
Even within families who have already developed poor phone habits, change is possible. When a loved one is speaking or just arriving home, try putting down the phone and facing your family member while making eye contact with a smile, and get ready to enjoy a sometimes immediately improved relationship.
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